March 8, 2019 -- Bright Ideas at 2 A.M.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not the beast, but Michael Ray

The answer to this question is as many people
as you need as long as Michael Ray is not there. 

March 8, 2019,

I do not know much about how genes work, but I am a firm believer that my older brother somehow broke the system and stole all of the good genes (except the attractive genes, obviously I have those). Now he is not perfect by any means, but he did get the athletic genes, survival genes, and the most important gene, height. Growing up with Christian was just as terrible as you are probably imagining, but it also had its perks. Let me fill you in.

Picture this: If Christian and I were a part of MMA, the stats would look a little like this...

Christian

Height: 6"6'

Weight: 280 (on a good day) 

Abilities: throat punching, drop kicking, linebacking (Is that what it is called?)

Wins:1,000,000

Losses: N/A

Haley

Height: 5"2'

Weight: N/A (Ha, you thought.)

Abilities: Screaming, Biting, Running

Wins: N/A

Losses: 1,000,000

While I may have had to go through sibling fights like everyone else, I got to boast that I had a beast on my team if I ever needed to utilize him. Also, I never had to worry about not being able to reach something on the top shelf,  losing my family in a large crowd (I just had to look for the giant red head that stood above everyone else in the crowd), and I NEVER HAD TO CHANGE MY OWN LIGHTBULB. So, in my eyes, the occasional bruise and lost battle was worth the perks. I enjoyed not having to climb on countertops and ladders every few minutes. This concept leads us to today.

Today, I face a big challenge. About two months ago my lightbulb above my toilet went out. I, being the whopping five foot that I am, could not reach the lightbulb that was placed so carefully above me within my eight foot ceiling. So, after two months of using a phone flashlight to see, I decide to call for backup. (Let me remind you that I decided to move five hours away from my beast so now I am not only without a beast, but I also have no clue how to remove a light fixture and apparently neither does my backup.). Michael Ray, also not a beast, is my backup. 

From the start, everything went wrong. Our first mistake was to start this process at 2 A.M. From there, we managed to knock the light fixture out of the ceiling so that it is now hanging from wires, get covered in fiber glass from the insulation, and not be able to hang the light fixture back up.  If you have read my previous post then you know what comes next, a phone call to mom. Of course, no answer because it is 2 A.M which means we are now in this ALONE. 

After two hours of trying to put the light fixture back up we decide to come up with better ideas. Our first bright idea (ha, get it? It's a light pun.) is to grab the duct tape. We decided that if we could duct tape the light fixture back up, my landlord could send someone by to fix it in the morning. Perfect plan, right? Ha, Wrong. This does nothing but waste my precious duct tape and causes more fiber glass to fall from the insulation.  The light fixture was too heavy.  So we had to resort to a better idea. 

Our grand plan of the night was to stack every throw pillow and blanket I had under the dangling fixture to protect the glass dome from breaking if it happened to fall before someone could fix it. Now you are probably thinking:

A.)  that is Dangerous

B.) Probably not going to work, hun

or C.) You are going to ruin all of those beautiful throw blankets and pillows with the glass...

I know this because I was thinking all of the above. But, if you will, please refer to the paragraph about me having no knowledge on how to change a lightbulb.

To end the story, the light fixture did not fall, I only was able to get two hours of sleep, and, the repairmen even changed the lightbulb for me while they were laughing at my story.

 But, as always,  I was able to learn a few things:

1.) If you have a beast, do not take him for granted. He has his own dreams and does not want to move to college with you.

2.) Michael Ray does not know how to change a lightbulb

3.)  It is probably not best to fix your problems at 2 A.M. Honey, it can wait until morning. Get your beauty sleep. 

And finally,

4.) In situations like these you realize who you have on your side. When I mentioned I needed help, I had dozens (okay, maybe more like five) people offer to help. Although for some reason Michael and I thought we could do this alone, I will always know that I can count on those people to help me out whenever I need it. Not only because they said they would, but because they have proved it by being there for me in so many different ways. Hold those people close and never let go. At least that is what I plan to do.  

P.s. And through it all, Michael still hangs out with me.